Follow by Email

Friday, May 18, 2012

An Elephant Never Forgets

I have several good friends who are amazed at the details I remember from a very early age -- and that applies to my life now too. I will never forget the kindesses showed to me by my friends and family during all my trials and tribulations -- whether it be in 1998 when I escaped from a seemingly intractable situation of domestic violence and went into hiding -- or when I got so thin I nearly died and had to be hospitalized in 2004 -- to my current battle with cancer. Every little tiny bit of support (you have no idea how little) has been monumental for me). I am buoyed in spirit and soul by those who have taken the time to make an effort as little as to send me a card to a phone call of reassurance or the offer of physical help -- even bringing me chicken soup when I have felt so low I could melt into the floor. You have reassured me that I am doing the right thing with my parenting (being a single parent is really hard, and have you not done it there is no way to explain it) and my life decisions (like when I lost my newly purchased home after owning a home outright and living with a partner who was unwilling or unable to carry his share of the financial load). Bankruptcy and the affiliated shame pale in comparison to walking around bald as a cue ball, and the offers of visits and offers to make freezable meals is so appreciated -- I seem to manage to be able to pull it together for my children but taking care of myself is so much harder. I guess that is the caretaker in me who puts everyone else first. In any event, thank you, I hope I survive the adventure awaiting Isobel when she goes off to college in August. THANK YOU for all that you have done (and will do) for me. I will never forget your kindness and karma will return the favor to you.

Next step: radiation. We'll see what that will bring; all I know so far is that it will be 10-12 weeks of treatment 5 days/week at a high dosage of gamma rays..... spawning extreme fatigue and not likely to encourage any more fine peach fuzz to grow.

Anne 5-17-12 (the day after my father turned 75 -- which makes me feel very old and vulnerable.